In the annals of cultural milestones, this will go down as a particularly historic year. And I, for one, believe that we are privileged to be a part of it. Yes folks, July 2007 will be one for the record books.
No, no. I promise, this has nothing to do with tennis. This is a much rarer event – one of those singular moments that you will recall to your wide-eyed great-grandchildren: “Yes, little Billy. Your nana was actually there.”
I am talking, of course, about the crescendo of Pottermania.
Now, all you cynics can keep your grunts and guffaws to yourselves. I am right about this: J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series is as an absolute classic - required reading material for the adolescent set, and a fine way to pass the time for anyone else. Meditating on Rowling’s genius, I am moved to educe only one other series that has made such an indelible impact on our culture: A.A. Milne’s Winnie-the-Pooh. (If anyone disagrees with me on that point, I will simply say that Milne’s original book was on the New York Times Bestseller List in 1960 in – get this – Latin. Yes, that’s right. Nearly forty years after its publication, The Bear of Very Little Brain was so enormously popular that he was a best seller in a dead language.)
Perhaps (other than revealing my obvious and somewhat fanatical love for the Boy Wizard) you are wondering where I’m going with all of this. I shall tell you: I am going to the movies.
Now, I know what you’re thinking, but I am prepared to defend myself. While it’s true that I revere the literary Potter far above the celluloid version, the seventh and final book will not be out until Saturday and I have succumbed to the mania. I simply had to get my fix.
I went to see the fifth in the Potter movie series, The Order of the Phoenix, last Sunday afternoon.
Now, as anyone who knows me will tell you, I don’t get to the movies all that often. I actually have no excuse for this except that I am inherently phobic of places like the mall, Baywalk, Channelside and the like. I’m talking about places so mind numbing that children, teenagers, and adults who should know better are lulled into believing that they are having a cultivated experience. The trendy newness of it all makes me shudder.
Why is it that movie theaters are now housed in these Disney-fied cultural vacuums?
Even the old Beach Theater on St. Pete Beach – one of the last remaining venues for independent and arthouse films – has “updated” its features. They are currently showing Transformers. I am not kidding.
Ah, well. Clearly I’m not one to judge. Harry Potter is a far cry from Il Postino. I couldn’t even tell you the last time I went to an independent film. Cultural suckage aside, the Baywalks and Channelsides of the world are pretty great places to see a movie.
It’s crazy to be nostalgic about the theaters of yore when you’ve got big cushy chairs, gourmet candy and Dolby surround sound with which to stupefy yourself. Remember when having an armrest cup holder was a big deal? And, I can romanticize the drive-in all I want, but the truth is – if you actually went there to see the movie – those places were crummy.
So, Sunday I went to the Baywalkiest, Channelsidiest of all of the Tampa Bay area’s theaters - the Muvico 20 in Centro Ybor. Oh, and not just the Muvico – I went to the way cool, VIP, 21 and over Premier Theater.
Oh, people. This is the awesomest modern movie theater in the land. It really is VIP. It says so right there on the free, VIP popcorn coupons that come with the ticket. Of course, the ticket can only be purchased with the title to your home or your first-born child (whichever comes first), but really, it is so worth it. You have to wind past all the riff-raffy theaters to get there (through the Disney-fied “grotto” alley that is the lobby) and then, like the mythical village of Brigadoon, it appears magically before you.
Inside the lobby there is bistro seating, that delectable free popcorn, and a full bar. A full bar! Now, I went to see Harry Potter in the middle of the day, but I’m not ashamed to tell you that I kicked back in my ginormous leather theater seat with an “oil drum” of Fosters lager – just because I could. And really, the best part is – no kids. Not one single text-messaging, gum smacking, candy throwing teenager in sight. (I apologize to all of the considerate, responsible movie-going teenagers – I know that there are one or two of you out there.) Holy gravy train, Batman - this is what movie-watching was meant to be.
So, maybe it is a cultural vacuum. Maybe it is in Tampa. And maybe (okay, clearly) I no longer have the right to be sanctimonious about my movie-watching predilections. But, next time I head out for a date with the silver screen, I’m pretty sure it will be in VIP style.
Hey, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is only a year away.
Published in The Gabber Newspaper, Gulfport, FL 7/19/07
No comments:
Post a Comment