April is the coolest month

So, while the dead land is now breeding daffodils (daffodils!), and mixing memories of Alice in Wonderland with my desire for fucking warm weather, already, I have to admit that this little old lady of a town is finally coming back to life.

It's really an amazing thing to live in a place that has seasons. I mean, even if most of those seasons are winter, there's still this great anticipation, this sense of hitting the refresh button, when all the little things start to change. There are buds on the trees, tourists in the harbor, daffodils in pots on all of the tourist cafe tables in the harbor. It's ... wait for it... wait for it... Spring!

And I feel like writing. Man, do I feel like writing! I'll write on this damn iPad, if I must, but I'm dangerously close to rambling (Spring is all about rambling), so I'll make you a list instead. Here's some of the shit going down in Coopertown...

1. Danish people refuse to accept that there's any weather unsuitable for biking. I watched them slip and slide all through winter, and now they are full-on getting blown across the street. Forty mile an hour wind gusts? Don't be such a chickenshit.

2. Time change = magic. Coinciding with the crazy bell graph that is Scandinavian sunlight, adding an extra hour somehow instantly yields like four more hours of post-working daytime.

3. Carlsberg is probably not the best beer in the world anymore, unless you live in the UK. The company changed their classic slogan to "That calls for a Carlsberg," prompting Anheuser-Busch's army of lawyers to proclaim that the campaign infringes upon their "This calls for a Bud Light" branding. Interestingly, Carlsberg's new tag line is actually quite old: it's one they used in the 1950s, so, yeah... much head-hanging and possible counter-suing to come.

4. I have a scheflera plant that may or may not have been exposed to high levels of radiation. Are they supposed to sprout like a million new arms overnight?

5. It's shame upon shame for the Danish immigration services. After the former minister retired in disgrace (apparently you can't deport stateless people when they have no state, and folks tend to frown upon sending kids back to parents in Thai prison), our colleague Gus was kicked out of the country for some serious governmental fuck ups. But, it made the news and, more importantly, Facebook. We're betting Gus gets his visa back within the week.

6. Maricris and I are going to Budapest next month. So I'll be adding Hungarian to my ever-growing list of languages in which I can order beer.

7. Even though I rarely (ha!) update this beast, and have all of three readers, I'm considering a switch over to Wordpress. So pretty! So shiny and new!

8. Children and birds go batshit crazy in Spring. Serial. Between the screaming and the chirping and the trolls that live in the apartment above ours, it's amazing that we get any sleep at all.

9. Because it's about the only thing we can get for free online over here, we are spending way too much time watching Rachel Maddow. Dude. I'm scared to come home. What the holy crap is wrong with you people?

10. And finally, Mango's best friend is now a goat. Named T-Payne. And no, that's not happening in Denmark. But really, it bears repeating.

Huh, that's totally a top ten list and I didn't even try. See? Even my subconscious likes symmetry. But I promise that the next post will be horribly morose. Really. I mean, all sorts of shit could happen. Will I ever figure out how to get a monthly Metro pass? Will I be fired for playing with Wordpress all day? Will I be driven to alcoholism by a hoard of angry trolls?

Dude. Who knows?