Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am a lazy bastard. Oh, I know I talk a big game about getting out and enjoying the Florida sunshine, but you’re far more likely to find me in my natural habitat: the cool, dark recesses of a restaurant or bar. Particularly at this time of the year it seems I am eternally making outrageous excuses for my indolence and near-phobic aversion to the heat. (“Er, sorry…can’t play volleyball today…still nursing that jammed finger from junior high…”)
So, I’m certain that it will come as a bit of a surprise that my topic of choice in this very muggy month of August is none other that that playground for the uber-active, Fort DeSoto Park.
Anybody who knows anything about the Tampa Bay area has heard of Fort DeSoto. I’m sure I needn’t fill you in but, for the uninitiated – and it seems there are always a few of you – here is the requisite info: Fort DeSoto is the jewel of the Pinellas County Park’s system located at the very southern tip of the county and is home to some of the finest beaches, campsites, boating and fishing in the land. The park is also the “gateway site” for the Great Florida Birding Trail (who knew?).
According to Pinellas County’s website, the park property was first purchased from the federal government in 1938 for $12,500. In 1941 the property was sold back to the federal government for $18,404 to be used as a gunnery and bombing range during World War II. The property was repurchased from the feds in 1948 for $26,500. This clearly illustrates either some extremely poor real estate investing on the part of the county or, simply the fact that property values were skyrocketing even then.
Oh well. What matters is that we have it now. And what, exactly, did we get for all that dough? Well, nothing that Florida wasn’t full of at the time: untainted, mosquito-ridden waterfront property. Oh, and a big, fat fort.
Of course, we folks in the know like to call the whole park “the Fort.” As in, “Hey, big cookout at the Fort!” and “Didya hear about the shark attack at the Fort?” (Actually, nobody calls it “the Fort,” but wouldn’t it be cool if we all did? Let’s start a fun new trend, people!)
Anyway, there really is a fort at Fort DeSoto, which puts us in very cool company alongside St. Augustine and San Juan in Puerto Rico, though ours is not nearly as old. According to fortdesoto.com (NOT the official website for the park), construction on the fort began in 1898, but it “was never the site of any major battle, and the weapons of Fort De Soto…were never fired in anger at an enemy.” Perhaps in a moment of irritation, then.
Well, the fort is cool, nonetheless. And, occasionally, mock civil war battles are fought there (so you can either grab your confederate cap or go make fun, whatever floats your boat). But, what makes the park stand out (and, as a person only marginally more active than a tree sloth, I’m putting myself out on a limb, here) is all the cool stuff you can do there!
Torpidity aside, I, the human pet rock, have actually walked the Fort’s nature trails, steered my bike along its paved paths, and fallen – in countless unflattering positions – onto its sandspurs with rollerblades still attached to my feet. But that’s just for starters.
You can now rent a kayak or canoe and paddle the Fort’s canoe trails (or find uncharted territories of your own, potentially ambushing nude beach proponents). This happens to be my favorite Fort activity as it requires far less inertia and far greater rewards, from stingray sightings to the possibility of mangrove crabs jumping in your boat.
I have eaten fresh fish caught from the Fort area, and can say that they’re as fine as any tilapia (ahem, I mean grouper) in our Bay area. And, while I’m not a fan of terrorizing animals for my own amusement (sorry, sport fishers), I’m sure there’s plenty of fun to be had in that department as well. Boaters and fisherfolk alike (though I’m sure they already know), the Fort is your friend.
Add to all this outdoor abandon tons of great picnic sites, goofy carriage bicycles, vast undeveloped beaches, and a smattering of concessions stands, and I think you’ll get my drift when I say that the Fort totally rocks. It’s no coincidence that you’ve got to call, like, a bazillion months in advance to reserve a campsite (I hear they’re now taking names for Christmas 2012).
I’m telling you, as soon as I can get off the couch, I am so there.
Published in The Gabber Newspaper, Gulfport, FL 8/23/07
No comments:
Post a Comment